Two weeks ago, much to my wife's chagrin, I discovered Portal, the mindbending game on The Orange Box. Yes, I'm about a full year behind everyone else but whatever, I only got my Xbox 360 in January and there was Bioshock and Grand Theft Auto IV to keep me occupied since then.
So for about six hours on a Sunday, I played this game and it shorted out my brain for the most part. I can still function like a normal human being, but when my mind drifts, it drifts to the game. I ended up dying just as I beat the game the following morning, quickly before I left for work (the solution to the final board came to me just as I was waking up), only I didn't realize that I had died. I just thought it was a lame-ass unceremonious end to the game.
So last weekend, I had some free time and I played the final board again to make sure that that was true, that it really did end immediately.
It didn't.
After you get your promised cake, you're treated to a song from the evil computer that taunts and deceives you throughout the game. This song, called "Still Alive," has been stuck in my fucking head ever since I saw it five days ago! No matter what I can't get it out. I'm going to go fucking insane with this goddamn song stuck in my head and there's nothing I can do about it!
So if you see in the news a story about a man who shouts, "The Cake Is A Lie" before jumping out of a building with a Mr. Coffee machine strapped to his arm, you'll know not to bother checking back here for updates.
Since misery loves company, I thought I'd share mine with all of you.
If you dare, listen to this song just once.
And catch The Crazy, like I apparently did.
WARNING: PORTAL SPOILERS
So for about six hours on a Sunday, I played this game and it shorted out my brain for the most part. I can still function like a normal human being, but when my mind drifts, it drifts to the game. I ended up dying just as I beat the game the following morning, quickly before I left for work (the solution to the final board came to me just as I was waking up), only I didn't realize that I had died. I just thought it was a lame-ass unceremonious end to the game.
So last weekend, I had some free time and I played the final board again to make sure that that was true, that it really did end immediately.
It didn't.
After you get your promised cake, you're treated to a song from the evil computer that taunts and deceives you throughout the game. This song, called "Still Alive," has been stuck in my fucking head ever since I saw it five days ago! No matter what I can't get it out. I'm going to go fucking insane with this goddamn song stuck in my head and there's nothing I can do about it!
So if you see in the news a story about a man who shouts, "The Cake Is A Lie" before jumping out of a building with a Mr. Coffee machine strapped to his arm, you'll know not to bother checking back here for updates.
Since misery loves company, I thought I'd share mine with all of you.
If you dare, listen to this song just once.
And catch The Crazy, like I apparently did.
WARNING: PORTAL SPOILERS
